Another Beginning
by Noevelle3
Summary: What if the shooting never happened? What if there was a different story after the funeral?
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea from having a conversation with my friends about how theirs parties after funerals and such and I don't know it got me thinking about Castle and how the show never got that. Obviously due to reasons. But yeah. Read on, Hope you enjoy!**

"And if you're very lucky you find someone willing to stand with you" She stops for a brief moment to look over to him, the man she is so thankful for. The man who will stand by her side and go through this with her, just like everything else. After a moment of speaking to him through her eyes she continues her speech.

"Our Captain would want us to carry on the fight and even if there is obstacles in our path there will always be someone there to catch you in the end" She finishes her speech looking up at every solemn face in the crowd with teary eyes. She turns to him one last time before stepping down from the podium with shaky legs. The whole thing that her captain is dead still not imprinted in her brain.

The rest of the funeral is a blur. She can hardly see as they put Montgomery into the ground because of the un-ushered tears clogging her vision. She can feel him at her back though, it's comforting even if they aren't at the best of terms in their "partnership" at the moment. She knows she said they were "over" but she can't seem to get rid of him, even if the circumstances forcefully shoved them back together; Kate gets the feeling in the pit of her stomach that they would have found their way back eventually anyway. On that note she can feel Castles hand nudge hers in an attempt to hold hers, she abides willingly; not caring about anything else but his reassuring presence.

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He knows he shouldn't be having their relati- partnership covering his thoughts at such a time or place but he can't help it. He has been dying to just talk to her for even a minute to make sure she is alright.

'_Of course she's not alright you idiot! Look where we are?'_

He roles his eyes at himself for how naive he can be sometimes. He has been looking all over the place for her at the little gathering they're at after the Captains funeral. Montgomery's wife set up the whole thing at her house. Rick always thought it was kind of a twisted thing to have a party after a funeral. Celebrating the death of someone it just seems sick, maybe even rude. It's killing him inside not knowing where in gods name his partner is though. He needs to know she is not absolutely finished with him, that he can still be by her side everyday.

'_Damn it Rick you're at Montgomery's house mourning over his death! What the hell is wrong with you, show him some respect!' _

He kicks himself in the ass for thinking about Kate when he should be reminiscing all the good times with Ryan and Esposito. In fact he is in the middle of a conversation now that he thinks about it.

"Castle? Hellooo, bro what are you deaf?" Esposito says waving a hand in front of his face. Rick comes out of his trance and apologizes for blacking out.

"Sorry just got a lot on my mind." He says with a pitiful smile.

"Hell don't we all." Ryan chimes in with a sad shake to his head.

Castle nods in agreement downing the rest of his champagne as he hears an old couple talking about something that catches his attention.

"Oh that sweet girl she did such a wonderful job on the speech" The elderly woman said as she shook her head.

"You know I heard someone saying that she ran away up stairs with a bottle of champagne and no one has seen her since" The old man adds as a matter a fact.

"Oh" The elderly woman says putting a hand on her chest as if to stop her heart ach. "Bless her soul"

On that note Rick turned back to the boys.

"Will you excuse me I'm gunna head up to the bathroom."

Esposito gives him a knowing look but doesn't comment on it. He obviously heard the same conversation Rick had been listening into. Ryan on the other hand was completely lost, as always and just nodded him off. Continuing his conversation with Esposito and Jenny.

Castle made his way through the crowd of anguished people. He was just about to put his first foot on the step when he heard his daughters voice calling his name.

"Hey dad" her voice was quiet almost a whisper. He smiles at her with only his eyes, not having enough energy to form his mouth into one.

"Hey sweetie." He pauses wrapping an arm around her as she hugs him. "You alright?"

"I was just going to ask you the same question" She says looking up to him with expecting eyes.

"It's been a tough day" He looks down at her with sad eyes but a small smile on his face to reassure her that he'll be alright. She gives him a sheepish look back and hugs him a bit tighter, making him feel a little better about everything that has happened. When she lets go he hides the fact that no, he's indeed not alright. Not wanting to worry his daughter.

"Well Grams is waiting outside said she has had her fill of heartbreak for one day" Alexis stops a moment to read her dads expression. "Are you coming back with us or are you going to stay?" Her eyes tell him that she wants him to come with them, but he knows she will be understanding if he wants to stay longer.

"I think I'm going to stay a bit longer" He sees her face fall for just a fraction of a second and feels a pull at his heart. "But I will be home soon pumpkin I promise" He smiles a warm promising smile and pulls her in for a kiss on the head.

"Alright, love you dad see you soon" She walks off out the door. After seeing her leave he turns back to the stairs. He takes his first step up the stairs in hopes to find Kate up there. Not knowing what will happen when he does but doesn't care, as long as he gets to see her and make sure she's alright.

**Reviews would be appreciated! **

**This will probably only be a 2 chapter deal so yeah. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Normally I don't update things so quickly unless I get a lot of people interested in my story and well it seems to be that a lot of you ARE interested, therefore I will update NOW! Thank you for all the reviews and what not! Alright now READ! **

She can't handle all of these people constantly reminding her of everything that has happened. Hell none of these people even know the real story behind it. She still can't grasp the concept that Montgomery was part of her mothers murder. She's trying to put it behind her though, will only remember him as her Captain, her friend.

It's getting harder and harder to fight the tears and she really can't handle crying in front of crowds; it makes her feel weak. Even if it is the day of her Captains funeral she still, will not let a single tear fall in front of these people.

She has also been trying to dodge Castle's presence in everyway possible. He probably notices but she really can't deal with him right now. Doesn't even know what to say to the guy. He had been giving her reassuring looks the whole funeral and it's eating her away inside that she had pushed him away only a couple of days ago. What does he even want from her anymore? Isn't he sick of getting pushed away, nearly walked all over by her. It does occur to her then that maybe she was wrong by telling him they were over the other night, that she knows he was correct on everything he was saying. But she was angry, no, more than angry she was bitter, cold, not wanting him to throw the ugly truth in her face.

Kate takes the last of the champagne bottle and runs up stairs. Although She knows it's inappropriate, it's all she can think to do to get away from the depressing human population down stairs. Maybe it's not one of the healthiest choices to bring the whole bottle of Champagne with her but hell, whose to judge.

She makes her way up to the bathroom only to run into Lanie, her best friend.

'_CRAP'_ Kate internally curses to herself. She wants to just be alone. Even if it sounds pitiful and sad, she can't seem to care at the moment.

"Hey girl" Lanies voice, it's almost odd to hear like this. So down in the dumps.

"Hey" Kate barely even whispers, vocal chords shot from the constant lump in her throat.

"You going to start your own little party in the bathroom?" Lanie quirks an eyebrow towards the champagne bottle gripped tightly in Kate's hands.

That gets a laugh out of both of them.

"Uh yeah actually" Looking down at the bottle Kate looks back up at her friend. "Would you care to join?" Her smile is small but it's there and that's all Lanie needs to know to tell her that she is alright with her being there.

"I thought you'd never ask." Her friend half jokes as they make there way down the hall to the bathroom.

About an hour has passed and they are still in the bathroom reminiscing about old times when they hear a faint knock at the door. Lanie is about to get up when Kate grabs her arm.

"Shh! Let them go to the other bathroom" She whispers.

"Girl calm down" Lanie shakes her off and slowly opens the door.

Kate crosses her fingers, praying that the person outside that door will just go away. Her hopes of that happening burn to the ground when Lanie sticks her head back into the tiny bathroom and says

"It's writer boy" The amused quip to Lanies lips doesn't go missed by Kate. She shakes her head with a displeased face. Her face only grows more displeased when her friend opens the door even wider to let 'writer boy' in.

"I'll leave you two to it then, I have to go anyway. I think I heard someone looking for me downstairs." That gets a death stare from Kate. Lanie just brushes it off and scurries out of the bathroom.

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Rick can hear low whispers on the other side of the door after he knocked. Must be more than one person in there. If he could guess he'd have to say Lanie would be in there with her. His palms are a bit sweaty as he waits for someone to come to the door.

After about a minute of waiting Rick turns to leave only to be startled by Lanie's head popping out from behind the door.

"Hey Castle" She slurs a bit. Have they been drinking?

"Hey is uh Beckett in there with you?" The question comes out of his mouth before even thinking about it.

'_Great now I'm going to get shit at the precinct for this… well if I ever make it back into the precinct'_

The look on Lanie's face frightens him. It's mischievous, he doesn't like it. At all. Confusion wash's over his face when Lanie turns back to the other side of the door. When she comes back out her smile is even wider.

"A matter a fact she is, come on in." Lanie opens the door revealing a pretty flushed Beckett sitting in the tub with a bottle of champagne by her side on the floor.

Not knowing what to say Rick hears Lanie rambling on about someone calling for her downstairs.

'_Great'_

He thought, still not knowing how to start out the conversation with Kate. Not knowing why he came up here in the first place.

"Hey" Is all that comes out of his mouth. He's thankful that she replies to him with the same thing. He's glad to know at least she's willing to speak with him.

"I see you guys were having your own little party in here?" He question trying to start out on a light note. Not wanting to tip any icebergs.

"Yeah" Her smile is hesitant. Like she's not sure of herself. "Lanie caught me with a bottle of champagne, I guess she figured it wasn't healthy for me to drink the whole thing alone." Her laugh is rocky but it's comforting to him all the more. To know she feels that shes on good enough terms to joke with him. His smile fades and his face turns serious.

"Are you going to be okay" His voice is soothing to her ears and it takes her back to know that he still cares for her well being.

"Eventually" The glossiness to her eyes tell him otherwise but he'll let it go. He can't fight all of her demons for her, hell she hardly lets him fight any now that he thinks of it. Right now isn't about that though, it's about being there for her when she needs him. And he knows even if she wont admit to it, that she needs him as much as he needs her.

"Do you mind if I-"

"No, please sit"

He takes a seat on the floor by the side of the tub, he's surprised when she hands him the champagne bottle. Nodding at her, he takes the bottle into his hand.

"Thanks." He nearly chuckles out. As he takes a swish of the bubbly liquid.

They're both nervous and can feel the tension in the air. They know that once one of them opens their mouth to speak something Is going to slip and it will start the conversation they have been denying themselves for longer then they can remember. That's why at this moment neither of them are saying a single word and are just content in the awkward silence at the moment. But both know sooner or later one of them is going to crack and they're going to have to face their demons together. For right now they sit there in a silence that is saying a whole lot more than they're trying to show.

**REVIEWS please!**

**Okay I feel the need to drag this on to ONE more chapter! So yeah here you gooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Unless of course I should make this into something more. Idk though, Tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for taking so long to update, was away from my laptop. Hope people are still reading and enjoying ****J **

Kate can literally feel the awkwardness in the room she and him sit in. They still haven't spoken a single word to each other and it's starting to eat away at her. She can tell he's dying to say something too. He's fidgeting with his hands, shaking his leg nervously. But she knows he's way too cautious to say anything. She wants to start them off with this conversation, considering the part that she is the one who said they were over. But just can't seem to think, as if her brain wont form the right words to come out of her mouth. Honestly she hasn't a clue _what_ it is exactly that wants to be said at all. She's not sure if they're ready to let anything come out.

She has been hiding away from him all day, too scared to face what ever it is there is to face between them. Kate has never been one with words. If anything that is his job, literally. And it's hard for her to decipher her feelings; she's still with Josh, they have her moms case to worry about, she ended their Partnership only a couple of nights ago. How is she suppose to do this? Does she just apologize, does she tell him how she feels…

'_How do I feel?'_

Is what washes over her mind, one of the hardest but also one of the most simplest questions she has ever asked herself. _How does she feel about Richard Castle?_ It's hardly even a question anymore, she knows. Might fight that she knows it, but she does.

'_But does he know?'_

Shaking her head disapproving her own thoughts. It shouldn't matter anyway, she is with Josh. Shouldn't have feelings for this other man. Her friend… Her partner. Oh hell who is she kidding, she knows there is something more going on, can read between the lines. It's all clear, she's just making it blurry.

Rick can feel the anxiety building up inside of his body. Toying with his finger nails as he can practically hear her thinking. Praying to the gods that she doesn't hear what would only be the faint sound of his actual boisterous heartbeat. Taking another swig of the Champagne her voice breaks the silence atlas.

"Castle"

Rick practically jumps from his seat on the floor at the sound of her voice. He turns whipping away at the clear liquid that made it's way down his chin.

"Hmmm" Is all he gets out. It's all he feels safe with at the moment. But when he finally sees her face, and witnesses the tears that stream down her face his heart clenches in his chest. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to comfort her without her pushing away.

"Kate"

His voice catches in his throat.

"Kate I'm sorry- did I? -Are you- umm- Kate please say something." Is what finally fumbles out of his mouth, gracefully as always.

He watches as she wipes away the tears from her face and he hates it because he wants to be the one who gets to do that when she needs a shoulder to cry on. He wants her to break down in front of him and tell him her problems. He just wants to be there for her, he wants her to _let_ him be there for her. He knows he's going out on a limb here but doesn't care. What has he to lose? She already broke up their partnership might as well live in the moment.

Kate knows she's breaking down in front of him and wants to slap herself out of it, but can't. The tears just keep coming. She almost smiles at him stuttering on every word he tries to let out of his mouth. She thought he would be one to know how to handle a woman crying, considering he has a teenage daughter and all.

It alarms her when she sees him getting up from his spot on the floor.

'_What is he doing?'_

Before she can do anything to assume anything his arms are around her in some comforting hug that she is about to fight off. She'll wait just a second though, because it's actually helping. She hates that it's helping. Despises the fact that he can do this to her. Make her feel so safe. So needy. It's killing her, because she can't face them just yet. Doesn't know if she ever will. She knows she'll hurt him once she rejects him but it's all she can think to do.

"Rick" Her voice is a warning she knows he can sense the warning because once his name leaves her mouth he tenses.

"Is this not alright?" His voice has a hint of annoyance to it. Of course that's what he's going to ask. Like he knows she has rules, ground rules on their rela- partnership.

"Castle that's not what I-" Before she can continue he's unwrapped his arms from her and has moved away, cutting her off mid sentence.

"Than what did you mean Kate because I don't know what this is anymore, and I'm really getting sick of these damn rules that you've made between us."

She's astonished by his outburst, sits there watching him pace from corner to corner of the tiny bathroom. She gets up though, feels the chagrin boiling inside her. Standing in the tub looking a mess, fights back.

"I'm sorry you're getting so sick of me and my damn rules Rick"

There's a sharp sound to his name on her lips that she's never used before.

"I don't ask for you to stick around"

"No but you expect it" He shoots back, Kate would have stepped back a step if she weren't currently standing in a tub.

"Castle I never said that-"

"It's implied Beckett" His voice is harsh but still deep down there's warmth in his words. "Kate we're suppose to be friends, we're suppose to be partners."

She's laughing at his words, mocking him really. It's makes him livid.

"Partners" she echoes to him. "We're pretty close for partners don't you think Rick?" She's mocking him, making him feel flustered and confused. Why is she doing this? Why is she so set on him saying something that will change things. For crying out loud she has a fucking boy friend. Who he has grown to dislike to a very high extents.

Rick makes his way forward to her, chucking all rules out the window. He sees something in her eyes as each step gets him even closer to her in this tiny confinement of a room. Is it fear? Hope? He's not sure. He has a feeling he's about to find out when he finally gets out what he has been holding in for the past three years.

**Don't know how good this chapter was considering I had writers block and also it's pretty late in the night, or should I say morning? Lol Anyway hope people are still interested in this story. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you everyone for the reviews and what not. It motivates me to write more! So here we are with Chapter 4. Enjoy :D**

She regrets what she says almost immediately. The look that he has is unreadable but she knows she's crossed a line. Hit a nerve in Castle that she really wish's she hadn't. It's not his fault that Kate always keeps him at arms length. Push's him away any time he steps over a line, or push's her too far. It's also not only her fault that they haven't come together as one. It's also him, he's never deliberately asked her out, never made a straight forward move on her. Not if you count the first day he worked with her, when he asked that they debrief each other over dinner. No that was something different, that was when they were different. Now it would mean something, now she would probably accept his offer, instead of laughing it off like some type of joke.

"You know what I think" His tone is foreign to her ears. Never hearing him sound so angry or is hurt? She can't tell.

"I think that you're too scared to face what we have and _that's _why you push me away any time we start to get closer, _that's_ why you're still with that damn doctor, and _that's_ why you kicked me out of your apartment the other night."

His breathing is hefty and unsteady. But his eyes are glued to hers.

Kate suddenly feels Claustrophobic in the small space he is practically cornering her in. She feels as if his eyes are burning into hers and it's making her feel so much, she can't handle it anymore. Just as she's about the speak there's a noise coming from the bathroom door. Kate turns but can still feel Castles eyes stuck on her.

It's Lanie opening the door with keys in hand.

"Hey you guys almost done in here?"

Castle still facing Kate answers "Actually I was just leaving." Every word meant for Kate not Lanie.

He makes his way out of the bathroom with long struts. Not wanting to be there any longer. Can't face Kate anymore, not when she seems to have nothing to say to him. He can't believe after him practically telling her how he feels she still stood there silent. Maybe she really just doesn't care. Maybe he should just stop wasting his time on someone who doesn't want him to. If she cared wouldn't she have said something? Maybe told him that he was at least right? Hell he would like if even she had said he were wrong at least THEN he would have had some type of response. Something to go by, but I guess silence can speak more words than actual words do. And what it is telling him is that she doesn't want him. She doesn't care. She doesn't share the same feelings.

Castle makes his way through the crowd of dissembling people to find Montgomery's wife. He gives her his condolences and starts walking out of the house down the street. In the distance he can hear fast footsteps only someone he knows heals would make. Once he hears his name that's when he stops dead in his tracks.

"Castle!"

She doesn't care if she sounds like a crazy lady yelling at the top of her lungs across the neighborhood; she needs to get to him, fix what ever needs to be fixed between them.

That's why she is running now to catch up to him and is so thankful that he stopped at the sound of her ridiculous hollering. When she finally catches up to him he still looks pissed. But there's a light of hope in his eyes that she can tell he is try to hide.

"What?" Is all he says his tone still cold.

"Look I know your angry-"

"You're damn right I'm angry!" That gets Beckett to shut right up. She's now listening to what he has to say.

"I know our arrangement is some type of joke to you, I'm just a stupid writer following you around for research, but damn it Kate I have been following you around for almost four years now and I am tired of you holding me at arms length. It's not about the books anymore to me." He stops, running a shaky hand through his chocolate colored hair. As if to catch up to his own brain, that is currently running one hundred miles a second. He has never let out this much before, always scared she would just laugh in his face. Tell him to stop messing around. But now he knows that she knows he's as serious as a heart attack.

Kate is speechless, completely shocked. He's always been a man with words, but damn. Her eyes are burning, she's getting pretty accustomed to the feeling for today.

"I don't"

Looking down playing with her fingers nervously to buy herself some extra time she looks back up at him.

"I don't think of you as some type of joke, Castle." Her words are as sincere to her ears as they are to his.

The next question is as hard for him to ask as it is for her to answer.

"Then what do you think of me as Kate? Because I'm lost here"

**HOLLLLLLLAAAA! Sorry for dragging this on so long, it's just coming to me weirdly. So hope you stay around long enough for this story to finish out ;D**


	5. Chapter 5

Surprised that he would just flat out ask that question, Kate stood there, trying to think of anything that will make them turn onto some other territory. Anything else, because right now this conversation is not appropriate. It was her Captains funeral for Christ's sake she doesn't need to deal with this right now.

"Castle, are you really going bring this up right now?" She hated the twisted look that came across Castle's face, like he knew what she was doing. He nodded finally, as if he understands.

"No, yeah. You're right. Uh lets just forget about it then-"

"Rick-"

"No Kate lets just forget I even asked. I'm pretty sure I've gotten my answer anyway." He looks to his left as if to compose himself of his emotions. When he turns back to her his face is hard, cold, not Castle. Not the man she… she.

"I'll uh, I'll see you around." He turns then, making his way. Away from her. It causes a lump to grow in Kate's throat that she doesn't understand. Isn't this what she wants? Doesn't she want the easy way out with him? That's what she thought, that is until now. When she actually sees him walking away, like he's been wounded enough and is done. She doesn't want him to be done though, she wants him.

'_Oh my god, I want him?'_

It's a surprise to her own mind. A new realization really. Well not new…just… she's finally admitting it to herself. Something she has known all this time but is finally letting herself take it all in. Something she's not willing to let go of.

"Castle! Wait!" She shouts after him. Her heart flutters when he stops. He'll always be willing to listen to what she has to say. It's reassuring to know really. It lets her know he cares about her a lot more than he'd like her to know. He hasn't turned yet though, like he doesn't want her to see his face. Kate makes her way towards him because he's not coming to her. When she finally reach's him she feels terrible for making him doubt himself so much. Here's a man who has always been sure of himself, always known to have confidence. Now he seems unsure, frustrated, disappointed. Like she has been what he has wanted his whole life and just figured out he will never get it. That brings on another feeling inside of Kate that she can't pinpoint.

"Castle look, I'm sorry." He still hasn't turned and it makes Beckett nervous. "I'm not good at this okay, it's just…."

"It's just…" It catch's Castles attention when she pauses. He turns around almost immediately when she still hasn't spoken a word, ignoring the swelling feeling of his red eyes.

"It's just what Kate?" The look in Kate's eyes sets him on fire, he's so sick of this little dance. He just wants her all to himself and he doesn't care if he's being petty. Her eyes show concern, like she actually might care. He wants her to care, he wants her to know how he feels, he wants… her.

When she inhales and rush's a hand through her hair he readies himself for what she is about to say. Good or bad, he will hear her through.

"It's just… Look Rick." She runs another shaky hand through her hair. "I don't want to mess up what we have. I-I care about you, okay." She says it almost annoyed, like she really doesn't want to do this. He doesn't care though. What she has said has given him hope, something to hold onto. A future maybe?

"Kate what is it that we have?" He doesn't realize that he has stepped closer to her until he sees her back up from his proximity. It hurts him, he tries to hide it from his expression, but he's sure she's seen it. Looking away trying to control the anger that bubbles inside of him at the fact that she wont let him touch her, or even come close to her for that matter.

"What do we have?" She chokes out with a laugh. "Castle we have a partnership, a friendship even. I have gotten use to you Castle and I don't want to mess our partnership-"

"Bull shit! That is bull shit Kate!" He's trying to fight back his rage, but it's not working. Every time he tries to push it back down, she says something that will bring it back up again.

"You know damn well that this is more than a partnership"

It's a contradiction against himself, from what he had said back at her apartment only a couple of nights ago.

_I'm your partner. Your friend. _

But hell, he was just trying to get her to not go rogue and get herself killed. Now it was about them. Not her mothers murder, nothing else but them.

"Rick I have a boyfriend" She regrets saying it right when it fly's out of her mouth. The look that swipes across Castle's face is frightening to say the least. Like he is almost disturbed by her comment.

"Right… Right you have a boyfriend. A really dreamy doctor boyfriend who guess what Kate, is never around!"

"Castle-"

"No Beckett, I am always here, I am always by your side through thick and thin! I am the one who brings you coffee every morning to see your smile, I'm the one who makes sure you get enough sleep at night not him! And Damn it Kate I'm the one who is in love with you!"

It's then that Kate is literally speechless. It's funny really because she was just about to shout at Castle for everything else he was saying but it seems her brain has decided to stop working all together. He's said it, maybe at the worst time possible but he's finally said it.

She doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what to say. Is pretty sure if she did know what to say she wouldn't be able to, considering the whole being speechless thing. It scares the crap out of her that he loves her. It makes her feel butterflies in her stomach also though. She doesn't know what she is feeling at this very moment. She does know she better have something that will match up to that because she does not want him to walk away from her now. Not after that.

**BLFDSKFHAKDSUFHLDSKJFHKSJDFHA!**

**Hope you enjoyed diz chapter, it be ight. Lol **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for all of the followers to this story and the reviews! I really appreciate it! Well here's Chapter 6 ENJOY**

It's almost a dream to be kissing her again but it's happening. It's all Castle could think to do when she didn't say anything to his confession. Obviously the only "logical" choice. He doesn't regret it one bit, because she is currently biting his bottom lip with a moan that he has only heard one time before in his life. The first time they kissed to be exact.

Not that he had the whole kiss burned into his memory from beginning to end or anything. No, nothing like that at all. That would just be weird, obsessive really.

His brain feels like it's going to explode with the amount of emotions rushing through it. Kissing her is like nothing he has ever experienced before. It's everything he's ever wanted. Like they're soul mates, made for each other.

The feel of her arms coming up to wrap around his neck only makes everything more real. The reality of the situation dawning on him. He is in the middle of a sidewalk making out with Kate Beckett like it's what he was brought to this world to do. Like it's his lifeline. The only thing that matters.

She's pulling away though, why is she pulling away. His heart tares just a little as she separates her lips away from his.

"Castle" Her voice is hoarse, husky, aroused. Hearing her voice like that, Rick doesn't trust his own. So he answers her with a simple.

"Hmm?" When she doesn't answer he opens his eyes.

She's looking at him like she doesn't trust herself, what she's going to say. Like she doesn't know what to do. Hell he hasn't a clue what to do either. He'd be quite dandy with settling for another kiss or two or maybe even three for that matter.

"We shouldn't have done that." It's a whisper, like she doesn't actually believe what is coming out of her own mouth. Because she knows that what they just did is something she has been wanting since day one.

"I think we should've"

It surprises her that he's being so bold. Like he has nothing to lose. It also surprises her the giant warmth that crawls down her at the sound of his voice. Rough, manly really. Like a man who knows what he wants. She'd be lying to herself if she said it didn't turn her on.

"Rick, I-I" Before she can say another word his lips have hitched onto hers again. A demanding frenzy of lust, want, and love. It's all too much for her but she takes it anyway. Because though she hasn't said it yet, she does love him to. She knows deep down she couldn't live without him. Not that she would ever tell him that. No she would never give him the satisfaction of that information. But he does disserve more from her. He disserves someone who can fully give herself to him, and right now she can't. Whether she likes it or not she is currently in a relationship with someone else, even if that relationship is a joke to even herself. She knows Josh could never be as worthy to her as Castle is, but she keeps him around anyway. Mostly to forget about Castle in the beginning, but now it was more of an excuse not to be with him.

Kate Beckett isn't afraid of many things but she is afraid of Richard Castle, because he can do things to her heart that no one else has ever been able to do before. It scares the crap out of her to. She hasn't acted on it, the truth of the situation really being because she doesn't want to ruin what they have. Terrified things wont work out between them. That they aren't ready for each other. Then again she doesn't know if they will ever be ready to jump into a real relationship together. Kate doesn't know what scares her more but right now she can't think straight with his lips moving over hers like that, and his hands….

"CASTLE!" it comes out as a screech. Her eyes have finally opened to his baby blues.

"Look we need to-to stop." Beckett tries to compose herself by putting her hand on his chest to push them apart. When they finally part they're staring into each others eyes. Whether it be involuntarily or not they'll probably never know, but the wave of feelings going through both of them is unexplainable, overwhelming to say the least. Kate shuts her eyes hard and fast because she hates that she is still dating Josh. It makes making out with the man that she is madly in love with on the street of her dead Captain one of the stupidest things she has done, because she doesn't want to have this guilty feeling in her stomach.

"Rick we can't do this right now. Even if-" She's about to say what she has been hiding from herself and him for so long but saves herself and just says what will make why they need to stop make sense. "I'm still with Josh, I need to figure things out."

Rick can see the apologetic look in Kate's green orbs and understands. Even if it kills him that they can't just come together now, he knows she's right. They shouldn't start anything when she is still with… Doctor motorcycle boy.

'_Josh Davidson' _

Castle internally glared at the thought of him.

"You're right, we'll uh figure this out?" He hates how he's always like a puppy dog with her, but he can't help it.

"Yeah" The small smile that comes across Kate's face lightens his thoughts on everything. This woman will be the end of him. He feels the goofy smile that spreads on his own lips but doesn't care. He loves this women, loves her inside and out.

"So uh so I'll see you at work partner?"

"See you at work Partner" Her voice is warm, welcoming. Something she doesn't use often. At the moment she can't control it. She might actually have a future with the man that is standing in front of her and the thought is doing things to her insides like no other.

She doesn't know why he hasn't walked away yet or why she hasn't walked away yet even. Realizing they are standing there looking at each other like they're the most precious things in the world to each other.

"So I'll uh-" She stops her sentence once she feels Rick's strong arms come around her waist, embracing her in the most passionate hug she has ever encountered. It dawns on her then that he is comforting her about everything else that has happened within this week. It swells her heart to know this man knows exactly what she needs.

She slowly but surely brings her arms around his neck and hugs him back. Her eyes begin to burn from the tears building up.

"Thank you Rick, for understanding"

She doesn't just mean about the whole Josh situation she's talking about everything else. Everything she has put him through everything they have went through together. She wants him to know how grateful she is.

"Always"

Is what he finally answers with, something that means everything to them. It's their word. Just a six letter word that holds so much more power behind it. It lets them both know that they will always be there for each other. They will always understand. They will always love each other no matter the obstacles. It's not just a word to them, it's everything.

**Suppa playa hataz haha, So I can continue this story or I can just leave it the way it is. Or maybe make a sequel thing… hmmm. I don't know, you tell me what I should do! ALSO I really am happy that a lot of people have enjoyed this story and if you like this story a lot you should go check out some of my other ones ;D**


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